Jess VonderHaar

Growing up, I remember having girl crushes long before I even knew what gay was. I’d often play the “man role” when friends and I would play “house.” As time went on, a problem was presented. I would have crushes on girls who had crushes on boys. I was confused! Why couldn’t they like me? Why were they only attracted to boys? Around 2nd grade, I would have dreams of girl I was crushing on, except in my dreams, I was able to present like a boy! I would get the girl, wake up, only to face the music. Even though I wouldn’t find testosterone until much later on in life, I’ll never forget how I’ve always felt from day one. I didn’t know a life like the one I have was possible, until I saw a Trans Man/ Trans Masc human for the first time.

I did a lot of exploring on instagram. #FTM seemed to be a big hit. I was so intrigued. Is this real life?! How come I hadn’t heard of this sooner? I joined Facebook groups, attended community groups, and was basically mesmerized by what I was discovering.